Funny Stuff we Happen Across in our Daily Lives

Actually, this reminds me of my nephew Nick who at one time was a bodybuilder. He was on a strictly controlled diet, worked out obsessively and had a body fat percent of around 5% (at which point, by the way, everybody I've ever talked to feels horrible, but it's all about the image).

He entered a bodybuilder contest of some sort. He had a picture taken of himself posing and posted it on his Facebook page. There were 50 or more comments from his friends with comments like "You look great, Nick", "Awesome picture, Nick", "Great abs, Nick", etc. etc.

Knowing in reality what a screw-off my nephew was I posted the following YouTube video on my wife's Facebook page:



and laughed about it for the next 10 minutes. When I went back to check it, it had already been removed: he was checking his Facebook comments that frequently. He also texted my wife and said "Please don't let Uncle Luca post on your Facebook anymore." I laugh about it almost every time I see him and he still gets pissed...........................Luca

Actually, to be completely honest, compared to most green olives, black olives suck.  And they really don't matter.

File this under "Things I would do if I could" (and I don't mean "try to drive my car through the tunnel")

Might be fiction, but worth reading, anyway:

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONAL AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had
just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously, you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me.
(That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Trump as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life..

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
An armed Marine
Semper Fi,

When riding a bike, helmets are optional, but don't forget your mask.