davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Nov 5, 2020 7:00:25 GMT -8
Still funny but dated, was forwarded years ago, see its still making the rounds! Yep, it popped up on a reminder. i thought it apropos given what we’re seeing today. |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 8, 2020 13:12:04 GMT -8
Here’s a joke for you mind readers:
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 12, 2020 10:15:47 GMT -8
When were you going to tell me? all these years spelling it wrong. SO humiliating.  |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
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Post by davidsf on Nov 15, 2020 13:23:21 GMT -8
Pretty much what I’ve been feeling for a couple months now...  |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Dec 2, 2020 11:03:06 GMT -8
Question on a math exam:
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
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Post by davidsf on Dec 2, 2020 11:03:31 GMT -8
Question on a math exam:
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Dec 9, 2020 13:34:47 GMT -8
And now for something completely different: Sealand
After the war, most of them were destroyed and those that were left, were in the UK territorial waters... except 1. Roy Bates set up a radio station on one because he was tired of the Uk “official” stations with all the rules. eventually, he, his wife, his children, and some friends legally proclaimed their fortress “the independent state of Sealand. Despite several court challenges, Sealand remains sovereign today, with Roy its prince, and his wife, Joan, a princess. you can apply to Sealand for an official title, just like everyone who lives there... makes one’s mind feel, doesn’t it! |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
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Post by davidsf on Dec 10, 2020 6:18:34 GMT -8
An elderly man and his four, nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While there, the missus died. The mortuary told the husband, “We can ship her body home for $5000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.”
The man thought about it and decided to have the body shipped home.
“Why would you spend $5000,” questioned the funeral director, “when it would only cost you $150 to bury her here?”
“Long ago,” began the husband, “a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
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Bick
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Post by Bick on Dec 12, 2020 7:43:23 GMT -8
Now that's funny
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Jan 18, 2021 10:52:00 GMT -8
OK, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least he’s trying...  |
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Jan 19, 2021 7:40:47 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Jan 21, 2021 11:48:47 GMT -8
I wonder how we get this guy to run... not only does he seem unconcerned about what others think of him, but it looks like he has something most politicians lack:   |
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davidsf
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Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Jan 22, 2021 9:22:56 GMT -8
Rumored to be from Jeff Foxworthy, but no way to validate:
If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If, in the nation's largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is "cute" but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more "safe" according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
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MDDad
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Post by MDDad on Jan 30, 2021 14:54:47 GMT -8
You know how you sometimes get those silly chain emails that every once in a while hit the truth. Well, here's one I got today. It articulates what some of us have tried to say on this forum, but it does so better than we have:
Born 1925 - 1955
The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be.
To Those of Us Born
1925 - 1955:
At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.
If you don't read anything else, please read what he said.
~~~~~~~~~
TO ALL THE
KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930’s, 40’s and 50’s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank - While they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs
Covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,
and, when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps,
not helmets, on our heads.
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And we weren't overweight.
WHY?
Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day and, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building
our go-carts out of scraps and
then ride them down the hill,
Only to find out that we forgot about brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not Have
Play Stations, Nintendo
and X-boxes. There were
No video games,
No 150 channels on cable,
No video movies
Or DVDs,
No surround-sound or CDs,
No cell phones,
No personal computers,
No Internet and
No chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went
Outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut,
Broke bones and Lost teeth,
And there were
No lawsuits
From those accidents.
We would get
Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles,
or just a bare hand,
And no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms,
And mud pies
Made from dirt,
And
The worms did
Not live in us forever.
We were given
BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses,
made up games with sticks and
tennis balls, and-although we were
told it would happen - we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes
or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell,
or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts
And not everyone
made the team.
Those who didn't had to
learn to deal with Disappointment.
Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent
bailing us out
if we broke the law
was unheard of ...
They actually sided with the law!
These generations have
produced some of the best risk-takers,
problem solvers, and
inventors ever.
The past 60 to 85 years
have seen an explosion
of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom,
failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.
If you are one of those born between 1925 & 1955, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow
up as kids before the lawyers and the government
regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward this to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house
with scissors, doesn't it ?
~~~~~~~
The quote of the month
by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes,
fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the
country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist
attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,816
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Post by MDDad on Jan 31, 2021 11:06:06 GMT -8
It seems like every couple of weeks it's reported that "Jeff Bezos has replaced Bill Gates as the richest person in the world", or "Elon Musk has replaced Jeff Bezos as the richest person in the world." Why bother with all that when by all accounts Vladimir Putin is wealthier than all three of those guys combined at roughly half a trillion dollars?
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