MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,819
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Post by MDDad on May 4, 2021 14:27:18 GMT -8
Joey B. and Donny T. were having a couple beers.
Joey B. said, "I turned in my gun to fight gun violence."
Donny T. asked, "Did you cut off your dick to fight rape?"
Joey B. turned into crickets.
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 5, 2021 7:24:14 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 8, 2021 11:54:33 GMT -8
Disneyland Considering a change to the Snow White Ride: OLD:  NEW:  |
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,819
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Post by MDDad on May 12, 2021 10:19:20 GMT -8
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awaking from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.
"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!", she shouted.
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 13, 2021 12:31:41 GMT -8
 BIT OF CULTURE: Tobacco enema was used to blow tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, but mainly for resuscitation of drowning victims: A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and a bellow that forced smoke into the rectum. The heat of smoke was thought to encourage recovery of breathing. Practice was not successful and doubts on the credibility of tobacco laundry led to the popular terms, ′′Getting smoked" and "Taking it up your ass." Further, although not widely used today, this strange procedure is still widely used by most governments and all politicians!!! |
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,819
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Post by MDDad on May 13, 2021 12:59:39 GMT -8
Wow, that phrase is older than I thought. I just assumed "blowing smoke up your ass" was coined when Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi first ran for office.
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 13, 2021 14:57:39 GMT -8
Wow, that phrase is older than I thought. I just assumed "blowing smoke up your ass" was coined when Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi first ran for office. Yeah, that probably lines up close to the dates on my post... |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 15, 2021 4:57:25 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 15, 2021 5:43:52 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 16, 2021 11:15:33 GMT -8
It was tragic, calamitous, disastrous, appalling:
A truck, loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus, overturned and spread its cargo across all lanes of the highway.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, taken aback, aghast, stupefied, confused, shocked rattled, bewildered, surprised, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed...
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billb
Senior Eminence Grise
Posts: 3,089
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Post by billb on May 16, 2021 23:13:06 GMT -8
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Post by vilepagan on May 17, 2021 2:50:03 GMT -8
Excellent. We don't want crazy people in the military. |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 17, 2021 4:59:11 GMT -8
Let's save this thread for humor... |
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,819
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Post by MDDad on May 18, 2021 21:29:16 GMT -8
 Australian snowboarder Torah Bright breastfeeding her baby son and letting gravity do most of the work. |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on May 19, 2021 4:52:34 GMT -8
Australian snowboarder Torah Bright breastfeeding her baby son and letting gravity do most of the work. Hmmmmm, interesting. 🤔 I wonder if I can get my wife to stand on her head... |
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