Bick
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Mar 7, 2020 7:31:50 GMT -8
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Post by Bick on Mar 7, 2020 7:31:50 GMT -8
Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"
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SK80
Master Eminence Grise
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Mar 7, 2020 7:34:04 GMT -8
Post by SK80 on Mar 7, 2020 7:34:04 GMT -8
Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?" The room went silent.....!  |
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davidsf
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Mar 7, 2020 7:42:32 GMT -8
Post by davidsf on Mar 7, 2020 7:42:32 GMT -8
Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?" Yeah? then what’d he say? |
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davidsf
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Mar 7, 2020 7:52:15 GMT -8
Post by davidsf on Mar 7, 2020 7:52:15 GMT -8
George and Frederick are playing golf on this Tuesday morning, as they did every Tuesday morning. The septuagenarians were on the back nine, up by the highway and as Frederick lined up his T-shot, a funeral procession rolled by up on the road.
Frederick came to a respectful attention, put his hand over his heart, and stood there as the procession worked its way down the road and out of sight.
“Why Frederick,” exclaimed George, obviously quite impressed, “That was the most honorable, respectful thing I’ve ever seen you do.”
Returning to his T-shot, Frederick responded with, “Hell, it was the least I could do: I was married to the woman for 45 years.”
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Bick
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Mar 7, 2020 8:00:10 GMT -8
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Post by Bick on Mar 7, 2020 8:00:10 GMT -8
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
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Luca
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Mar 7, 2020 8:08:26 GMT -8
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Post by Luca on Mar 7, 2020 8:08:26 GMT -8
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and and tells the bartender “Give me a martinus.”
Bartender: “You mean a martini?”
“If I wanted a double I’d have ordered one.“
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Bick
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Posts: 6,903
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Mar 7, 2020 8:24:47 GMT -8
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Post by Bick on Mar 7, 2020 8:24:47 GMT -8
Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?" Yeah? then what’d he say? Nothing. Ephixedem |
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Luca
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Mar 7, 2020 8:49:34 GMT -8
Post by Luca on Mar 7, 2020 8:49:34 GMT -8
Eustopidis.
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MDDad
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Mar 7, 2020 9:17:34 GMT -8
Post by MDDad on Mar 7, 2020 9:17:34 GMT -8
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib are stranded on a deserted tropical island with no chance of being rescued. The nearest inhabited island is five miles across the ocean, so they decide to swim for it.
About a hundred yards in, Tlaib is exhausted because she's fat and homely, and she sinks beneath the surface and drowns. Another mile further, and Omar, who has only swam in sand and doesn't have her brother-husband to help her, also becomes exhausted, sinks and drowns.
But AOC is determined. Perhaps fueled by energy from the colonialist agriculture she has consumed, she swims on, mile after mile. Finally, she is just outside the wave break on the inhabited island, perhaps 50 yards from shore, when she becomes exhausted. She cries out, "Oh my God, my arms are like so tired and everything. I just don't think I can make it."
So she turns around and heads back.
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Luca
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Mar 7, 2020 23:21:04 GMT -8
Post by Luca on Mar 7, 2020 23:21:04 GMT -8
Well, somebody sure knows how to kill a joke thread...................Luca
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Luca
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Mar 7, 2020 23:21:15 GMT -8
Post by Luca on Mar 7, 2020 23:21:15 GMT -8
.
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SK80
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 7,379
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Mar 8, 2020 7:51:53 GMT -8
Post by SK80 on Mar 8, 2020 7:51:53 GMT -8
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib are stranded on a deserted tropical island with no chance of being rescued. The nearest inhabited island is five miles across the ocean, so they decide to swim for it. About a hundred yards in, Tlaib is exhausted because she's fat and homely, and she sinks beneath the surface and drowns. Another mile further, and Omar, who has only swam in sand and doesn't have her brother-husband to help her, also becomes exhausted, sinks and drowns. But AOC is determined. Perhaps fueled by energy from the colonialist agriculture she has consumed, she swims on, mile after mile. Finally, she is just outside the wave break on the inhabited island, perhaps 50 yards from shore, when she becomes exhausted. She cries out, "Oh my God, my arms are like so tired and everything. I just don't think I can make it." So she turns around and heads back. Sounds like Trump wrote this joke....  |
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davidsf
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Mar 8, 2020 7:54:36 GMT -8
Post by davidsf on Mar 8, 2020 7:54:36 GMT -8
My wife washed and ironed a whole load of laundry. As she was carrying them upstairs, she tripped and clothes went all over...
I watched the whole thing unfold.
...the whole thing UNFOLD.
...un-FOLD
OH never mind.
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RSM789
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Mar 8, 2020 10:14:45 GMT -8
Bick likes this
Post by RSM789 on Mar 8, 2020 10:14:45 GMT -8
A man sees a big giant dog being walked by a very small boy, so he approaches them. As he gets close, he asks "Tell me son, does your dog bite?" The boy replies "No", so the man reaches out to pet the dog. The dog immediately clamps onto the mans hand, drawing blood and nearly severing a finger. The man recoils in terror and shouts at the boy "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite?", to which the boy responds "This isn't my dog".
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RSM789
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Mar 8, 2020 10:17:34 GMT -8
Post by RSM789 on Mar 8, 2020 10:17:34 GMT -8
I made up the following riddle when I was 10 or 11 years old (mid 70's).
What do you call a professional tennis player before he is born?
Fetus Gerulaitis
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