davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Oct 30, 2021 11:25:57 GMT -8
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,814
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Post by MDDad on Oct 31, 2021 9:33:06 GMT -8
I was thinking about Jon Gruden yesterday and wondered: How is it they can find Jon's private emails, but they still can't find Hillary Clinton's or Hunter Biden's?
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Oct 31, 2021 11:28:06 GMT -8
I was thinking about Jon Gruden yesterday and wondered: How is it they can find Jon's private emails, but they still can't find Hillary Clinton's or Hunter Biden's? I'm pretty sure they wanted to find Gruden's... |
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 3, 2021 10:31:02 GMT -8
From David Letterman's Top Ten List a few years back, but just as relevant today (When I saw this, it had a photo of Hillary):
Top Ten Reasons to Vote Democrat
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion. It will take the police an average of about 15 minutes to get to your house; 00 buckshot travels at about 1200 ft/sec.
#5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.
Bonus Feature, author unknown:
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits". Albert Einstein
The best description of Obamacare so far: Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it."
A physician called into a radio show and said: "That's the definition of a stool sample.”
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 4, 2021 5:44:05 GMT -8
🤔
Hmmmmmmm
I wonder if the democrats in Virginia lost because the fake ballots that were printed in China are still stuck on the ship waiting to unload in LA Harbor...
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,814
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Post by MDDad on Nov 4, 2021 6:21:13 GMT -8
Now, now now, we don't buy fake ballots from China. On the other hand, the printers and copiers we need to print and copy those fake ballots are almost certainly stuck on those 159 ships off our ports.
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billb
Senior Eminence Grise
Posts: 3,082
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Post by billb on Nov 4, 2021 10:05:36 GMT -8
Sometimes the votes overwhelm their system.
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 7, 2021 6:04:37 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 8, 2021 7:45:16 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Nov 19, 2021 10:00:18 GMT -8
Overheard in the checkout line:
My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Biden stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's so important at our age!!
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thefrog
Eminence Grise
Posts: 1,819
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Post by thefrog on Dec 2, 2021 8:27:16 GMT -8
The man, the myth, the legend.
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Dec 7, 2021 7:54:24 GMT -8
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Dec 7, 2021 10:22:56 GMT -8
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...
Answers from Hollywood Squares I wish I'd given:
Dang'd funny stuff, right there.
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MDDad
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,814
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Post by MDDad on Dec 9, 2021 14:17:22 GMT -8
We've all ranted ad nauseum about the evils of socialism and the misery inherent in living in a socialist system. However, I would almost be willing to move to Finland and suffer that misery if I could trade in being governed by demented old Joe Biden for Finland's prime minister Sanna Marin:  |
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duke
Statesman
Posts: 681
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Post by duke on Dec 11, 2021 9:30:04 GMT -8
This incident occurred before Dave started this thread (2017). I think it should be shared as I personally think it belongs in the Triggered HOF. LOL
The explanation is just as funny
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