Bick
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Post by Bick on Jul 10, 2020 11:50:29 GMT -8
Geez fellas...I was just thinking about getting a decent meal for under $2
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Jul 10, 2020 16:34:41 GMT -8
This has not been validated, so no telling if it’s actually true, but it is still funny and I’m choosing to post it for its levity
For the few of you who do not recall, R. Lee Ermey was the host of The History Channel's " Mail Call " and played the Drill Instructor in the movie, " Full Metal Jacket. " He also played the totally unsympathetic psychiatrist in a GIECO commercial. He passed away in April, 2018.
He was a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.
AS THE STORY GOES:
Reporter 1: " how will this potential war crime affect our image in the world ":
Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-ASSED QUESTION IS THAT?"
Reporter 1: "Well, sir I think...."
Ermey: "THINK, FANCY BOY ??! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF YOUR SHOULDERS, MORON : I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD. SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important ?
Ermey: "OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODDAMNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I HAVE HAD TO WEEP, BECAUSE SOME SHIT EATING TERRORIST SCUMBAG MIGHT BE MAD AT US, BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FORSAKEN HOLE IN THE SHIT THAT HE LIVES IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKASS? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABL E TO BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINK ING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE UGLY-ASSED TIE, LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS!"
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."
Ermey: "FREEDOM? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION! WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMB-NUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN-SHIT PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!
NEXT QUESTION.
Reporter 3: "I...I.."
Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, NUMB NUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY HOLE IN THAT SHIT-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"
Marine DI's have a language all their own.
May God bless them all.
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Bick
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Post by Bick on Jul 10, 2020 18:07:45 GMT -8
Dave - it's been a long while since I've laughed that hard. Private Pyle...
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davidsf
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 5,252
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Post by davidsf on Jul 11, 2020 5:25:43 GMT -8
Dave - it's been a long while since I've laughed that hard. Private Pyle... Still chuckling at some of those parts... |
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Credo
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Post by Credo on Jul 16, 2020 10:09:49 GMT -8
We need more of this. The dude is lucky to be alive.
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Credo
Master Eminence Grise
Posts: 6,242
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Post by Credo on Jul 16, 2020 10:15:04 GMT -8
Writing "Black Lives Matter" on the streets won't improve a single person's life. This will. (Excuse the language.)
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Post by ProfessorFate on Jul 16, 2020 18:40:03 GMT -8
Writing "Black Lives Matter" on the streets won't improve a single person's life. This will. (Excuse the language.) If anybody doesn't know, Brandon Straka is a gay, former liberal, who founded the #Walk Away movement, which urges people to walk away from the Democrats. |
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Bick
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Post by Bick on Jul 16, 2020 21:44:07 GMT -8
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Jul 27, 2020 7:05:02 GMT -8
I’m just going to leave this here. Because while I hope you aren’t triggered by it, some of them trigger me:  especially #3 and #8  |
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MDDad
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Post by MDDad on Jul 27, 2020 7:54:02 GMT -8
And my personal favorites, the universal misuse of subjective pronouns:
He told she and I that he's an idiot. He told her and me that he's an idiot.
She and I's car was firebombed. Her and my car was firebombed.
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RSM789
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Post by RSM789 on Jul 27, 2020 18:40:19 GMT -8
Expanding this to colloquial sayings, how about "You can't have your cake & eat it too"?
Yes you can. First you have it, then you eat it.
The saying actually goes "You can't eat your cake & have it too".
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Jul 30, 2020 13:32:48 GMT -8
This just in:  |
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Credo
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Post by Credo on Jul 30, 2020 20:30:28 GMT -8
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RSM789
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Post by RSM789 on Jul 30, 2020 21:05:35 GMT -8
You know, the one in the middle does look like Barry Gibbs...
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davidsf
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Post by davidsf on Aug 4, 2020 14:27:32 GMT -8
I expected this a lot sooner:
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